- Commit murder.
- Swallow a battery.
- Ask the cute cashier at the convenience store if they carry those condoms in “petite sizes.”
- Have math homework every night for the rest of my life.
- Sit on an uncovered gas station toilet seat.
- Be the one to tell Kid Rock that wrestling isn’t real.
- Invest my lifesavings in Blockbuster stock.
- Be able to express myself using only lines of dialogue from the movie Paul Blart: Mall Cop.
This is hilarious! Nice job, dude. :D